Time. There’s a lot to say about it. Diabetes takes up a lot of time, doesn’t it? But it doesn’t ever borrow it. Diabetes steals time.
60 seconds in a minute.
60 minutes in an hour.
24 hours in a day.
7 days in a week.
How much of that time is taken from us by diabetes?
Time is a big thing for me. Because sometimes it feels like it’s taken every single second of my day away. Hypos, highs, carbohydrate counting, bolusing, testing, stocking up my bag, doing set changes, doing sensor changes and even the fleeting thoughts wondering what my BG is or a long think about an emotional struggle regarding diabetes. It has certainly stolen a lot of my time.
On the other hand, I will also give it some time when I’m sharing stories sometimes of a funny hypo, stories and feelings of an experience in hospital, musings about what certain events might hold in terms of my blood sugars etcetera. Type 1 diabetes (and the CHI/surgically induced aspect for me) is a subject that I am comfortable talking about with people because it is a big part of my life and I find it interesting to discuss such things.
But verbal time is a little different to physical time. Yes I know that’s not a ‘thing’, but it’s true. When I want to talk about it I am willing to let that time be taken up by diabetes because I have chosen that. Physical time however, diabetes takes that as and when it likes through pump alerts, out of range blood sugars and daily management. So it is very, VERY different.
I do try and give diabetes time by making sure I calibrate to sensor. (Yes Mum AND Grandma I do know this is rare, but you can’t deny that I do sometimes do that!) Or by deciding to put on a temp basal before I’ve reached the very high numbers. This way I can prevent it stealing more time later, you see?
However sometimes, diabetes can do this clever thing where it may or may not steal physical time but it will actually steal other time. In negative thoughts. Sometimes small resentment, other times hours of ridiculous but unpreventable, self pitying, internal raging.
Recently it feels like diabetes has taken a lot of my physical time, I give it a fair amount of verbal time anyway and as a result HEAPS of negative thoughts take up the rest of my other time.
I hate that I give diabetes so much time. I hate that I talk about it with friends, whether they’re non diabetic and not involved at all with diabetes or have a diabetic in the family. Even my closest friends who I can talk about anything, I hate even saying ‘oh I’m low!’ in a message. But I can’t stop myself! I just talk about it and my experiences because I like talking about it and then don’t.
But one of the strangest things out of everything recently is, if you start giving diabetes the physical time it needs, it will stop stealing all my time. Funny isn’t it? I’m just hoping that it means I can give it verbal time without being so bothered.
I know this is a waffly post and I apologise for that. Do you find that diabetes take up more of your time than you’d like? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!