Diabetes Burnout – One of Those Days

It’s just been one of those days. 

And I just want to cry. 

It’s the type of day that you don’t have any particularly mega high bloods or particularly nasty lows. Just the type of day that you just want to give up. 

The monotony of the condition of having do another test, needing to do another set change, think about it all again has got me down today. I really don’t want to do any of it (a lot more than usual). 

I can’t get it out of my head that it’s going to be like this forever. It will always be monotonous (and yet unpredictable and dangerous too). I have to do the same things day in, day out just to try alive and it will never EVER change. 

Arghhh!

It probably doesn’t help that I did a bad sensor change yesterday with it painful and bleeding, plus I forgot to take my test kit out and about this morning and I forgot to give insulin a lot today. But those are all really little things, so I shouldn’t be feeling like this, there hasn’t been a trigger. 

I’m sorry that it’s another negative post, but diabetes isn’t always positive and I can’t bring myself to write a cheerful post when I’m feeling like this. I also don’t think I want to talk to anyone because I don’t want help. I’ll be okay, it’s just a random rough patch. 

It’s stupid because I’m staying with my grandma at the moment who is being so amazingly strong and resilient with her current medical issue, so how can I be so weak when she’s being so strong? I’m usually so much better than this, so much stronger mentally because I’m amazing at kicking diabetes’ butt usually. But today I don’t have the energy to even try. 

I don’t want to have to change my set every 3 days. 

I don’t want to test my blood sugars 10 times a day and definitely not more than that. 

I don’t want to think like an organ 24/7. 

I don’t want to be diabetic.

I can’t do this anymore. 

*Update – I planned and wrote this in a bad 5 minutes earlier so it is a little worse than I really feel, but I think it’s important for people to understand so I’m posting it anyway. 

*I’m not looking for pity, I just needed an outlet so I chose my blog.

*I have now finished the day on an 18.9 as a result of all this. Yay. 

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6 thoughts on “Diabetes Burnout – One of Those Days

  1. I’m a parent of a 10yr old t1 boy. He’s had a bad day too but a lot of lows and mood swings. He’s the same, usually kicks t1 butt. But not today. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. You are not alone

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  2. I’m mum to a 19month old t1 diagnosed 4 months we have days like this n I think the same il never relax il never stop thinking bout it even wen I’m not with him etc, it’s ok u feel like this people who don’t have t1 feel like this bout other things. It’s normal it’s healthy and tomorrow is a new day, be kind to yourself xxx

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  3. it is good to read this – it is really helpful to others, thank you, and I hope also helpful to you to write stuff down. I am mother to a nearly 14 year old boy who was diagnosed four years ago. We are just starting to see the first signs of ‘fed-up’. He has always ‘got on with it’ but I think the fact it is forever is just starting to dawn on him – and I can’t share this with him. I can’t experience the overwhelm with him and I can’t comprehend the enormity of day in, day out, same old same old with no let up. Again, thank you for sharing these type of thoughts. I hope your good days outweigh your bad overall. Keep writing, keep expressing your feelings. Well done.
    x

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  4. Sorry you’re had a tough day. I really hope that today is better for you. My 12 year old broke down in tears for the first time since his diagnosis, 2 years ago, last week. Doesn’t want to wear his Dexcom sensor he doesn’t like people seeing it in the summer months and i think the forever part that you talk about got to him to. It’s just awful and I didn’t have a clue how to help. It’s totally understandable that sometimes it’s just all to much for you guys. xx

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  5. I don’t blame you babe, it is a real pain in the b** that you have to do this stuff. The miracle is that you are mostly so positive and practical. Not sure what you can have that would give you some cheer….but whatever it is, have a LOT of it. S x

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  6. Sometimes days like that happen and it really helped me to write it down and share my feelings. Reading through all these comments has really helped me today, so thank you!
    Today is definitely a better day – I’m off to have a lot of Yo Sushi! Thank you so much for commenting:)xx

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