I’ve just watched the fault in our stars for the third time, and EVERYTIME I watch this movie, it causes me some seriously deep thinking!
I moan about diabetes, who doesn’t? I moan about needles, having no break etc. But then I sit and watch TFIOS and feel lucky that I am diabetic. Weird right?! Suddenly the needles seem so insignificant and diabetes appears easy to me, compared to what Hazel and Augustus and their parents have to face. The two of them get death sentences. And okay yeah, type 1 can be fatal, but ever so rarely! What they’re going through is so awful (well, they’re fictional characters, so actually, what people in their situation are going through really) that I feel really bad for moaning about diabetes!
I end up promising myself never to moan about diabetes again! I always end up breaking that promise anyway, and then I want to kick myself for moaning-_- If I rant at my friends about it, I feel bad because they don’t fully understand it of course and so I feel like I’m attention seeking, for something that in the grand scheme of things definitely isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me! Talking to other diabetics is better, but I don’t want it to come across as ‘I’m in a worse situation than you’ type thing. And my mum, I like to talk to her about my struggles or whatever, but she’s in probably just as bad a position as I am, if not worse. Because it’s bad enough having the condition, but even worse having a child with it I’m sure! So I don’t want to burden her in a way, or make her feel down about it or something.
Perhaps I could let out my frustration on here, instead of feel bad about venting at my friends! (Is venting a word??? I mean ranting and moaning:))
So, I have been doing some deep thinking this evening…….!